


Feels So Scary Growing Old

by lynnthere_donethat



Series: Wheeling Through the Midnight Streets - TDAU [9]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 4 times sapnap dreaded his future and the one time he didbr, Alternate Universe, Angst, DreamTeam friendship, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Sapnap boxes now this is canon in an au, Sapnap-centric (Video Blogging RPF), TDAU, Teenage Disasters AU, it is very late and I️ refuse to wait until tomorrow, sapnap angst and comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29672583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynnthere_donethat/pseuds/lynnthere_donethat
Summary: four times Sapnap contemplated the future and had an existential crisis and the one time he was actually looking forward to the future. - TDAU
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Wheeling Through the Midnight Streets - TDAU [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058816
Comments: 16
Kudos: 75





	Feels So Scary Growing Old

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marlew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marlew/gifts).



> apologies for misspelling and weird formatting, its cold and late and I️ refuse to get my laptop to upload this. For Marlew, who requested Sapnap angst and I️ hope I️ delivered(?) I️ hope you all enjoy!  
> Quick timeline thing- Dream is a year older than Sapnap so the age listed is Sapnap’s age.  
> Also, George moved to Southwood when he was in his 7th grade and didn’t really become friends with Dream and Sapnap until George and Dream were almost Sophomores (10th grade). Alyssa moved to Southwood in her freshman year, which is why that relationship is kinda awkward. 
> 
> Also can you tell I️ switched ideas and themes a lot this fic? it’s not very consistent with characters and the like, rip. This fic has given me a lot of trouble, so I️ apologize for how choppy is may be.

**1\. Kindergarten - Age 5**

“What do you wanna be when you grow up?” The teacher asked. A simple question that made lots of kids glow with excitement. But Sapnap didn’t know. He had never given it much thought, too busy being caught up with Power Rangers, Scooby Doo and Tom and Jerry episodes. 

_ What did he want to be when he grew up?  _

A couple kids spouted off usual jobs for adults. Doctors, astronauts, scientists. One little girl yelled out “Author!” with all of the gusto a five year old could contain. 

“Sapnap?” The teacher prompted. 

“Uh, firefighter!” He said, yelling out the first thing that popped into his head. The idea wasn’t too bad, maybe he could be a firefighter when he grew up! It sounded cool, and firefighters are always helping out people and saving kittens from trees. 

The question stuck in his head, until the bus ride home. He was thinking of his future when his friend plopped down, breaking his concentration.

**2\. 4th Grade - Age 9**

“Hey Dream, have you thought about what we would do when we’re older?” The question had come out of nowhere for the young blond. Sapnap, his best friend, was sleeping over and they were sharing Dream’s too-large bed despite the cot laying nearby. Rolling over to face his raven haired friend, Dream pondered the question.

“I️ dunno, I️ kinda figured we’d still be best friends through high school. Though Dad’s mentioned him moving me into the company when I️ get “of age” or whatever.” He said, after some thought. Dream’s future seemed to have a set plan. Graduate school and help his dad and mom with their company. Maybe he would see them more than the nanny, or Bad’s family. The older boy had watched Dream a lot while his parents went on trip after trip for work, and Dream couldn’t go because of his schooling.

“You think your parents would let us stay friends?” Came the timid response from the darkness. Dream’s eyebrows shot up and so did the boy. 

“What are you talking about Sap? Of course they would! You’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world!” Dream argued. 

“True, I️ dunno- it’s just scary, thinking about growing up and getting old.” Sapnap said, still quiet. Dream shuffled older and ruffled the wavy black locks. 

“Then stop thinking about it. Cmon, it’s late and Bad’s gonna make muffins with us tomorrow.” Dream said, grinning.

“Really?” Sapnap asked, perking up. The older boy always visited on weekends and usually baked a bunch of treats with the younger boys. 

“Yeah! C’mon, I'm tired.” Dream said, yawning and shuffling back under the covers. He hugged Sapnap before falling asleep, allowing sleep to take him under and into the land of dreams- much like his namesake. 

Sapnap didn’t fall asleep, not for a long while. He wished he had Dream’s optimistic enthusiasm but he couldn’t help but think about his future. Dream had a whole future ahead of him, with his parents and their company, plus Dream was Dream! He was funny, and kind and lots of people liked Dream. 

**3\. 8th Grade - Age 13**

The rattling of chains echoed around the empty gym, with huffs of exertion from the sole figure there. A brown leather punching bag swayed back and forth, with each well placed hit. Huffs of breath exhaled with each hit. Loose grey joggers, high top sneakers and a sleeveless tee shirt hung off the practicing male. Wireless earbuds were snugly in his ears, pulsing with the loud music playing from his phone. Across the foam flooring lining the gym, laid the duffle bag the male brought. Extra wraps, gloves, a towel and his water bottle lay in the bag.

The security lights casting an ominous look around the gym, when another person entered. The door dinged with the entry and the man working over the bag with a personal vendetta didn’t bother looking up, too busy rhythmically hitting the bag with each pulse of his music. The brown leather bag swung with each pass of his fist. The bandages around his hands shielded his fingers from bruising with his practice. The second male continued his slow gait towards the practicing male.

With a final hit, the male stopped and took a deep breath. Eyes closed as he took in deep breaths, he eventually cocked his head to look at his new compatriot. The other male was definitely not dressed for some boxing practice, but had come from a practice, given the loose clothing and his practice bag.

“Hey, where’d you come from?” Sapnap asked, looking over. Dream was there, in grey joggers and a lime green hoodie, with black sneakers on. The blond grinned, and flashed the fencing academy’s logo.

“Fencing, Techno and I decided to brush off some dust and spar for fun. Our old instructor was more than happy to supervise. Whatcha doing Sappy?” Dream asked, settling onto the bench by Sapnap’s bag.

“Thinking, and getting rid of some thoughts. How was your spar?” Sapnap asked, pushing past his friend’s questions.

“It was good, Techno won but it was just a spar. Now, what thoughts are you tryna get rid of? You aren’t getting out of this that easily.” Dream laughed, crossing his legs on the bench and watching. Sapnap groaned and plopped on the ground.

“Future thoughts. Same old existential shit. What will I do with my life, what I can accomplish in the few years of school left. I still don’t have an idea for my career. Those damn quizzes are no help.” Sapnap groaned on the mat, and he began to unwrap his hands. He figured since Dream was here, his friend would be dragging him home and chilling in Sapnap’s room until 1AM when Sapnap’s mother came to make them go to sleep. 

“Hm, I get that.” Dream hummed, head turned to the side. 

“Really? You, mister Daddy’s business?” Sapnap scoffed, frowning. Dream frowned, and hurt flashed in his eyes.

“I don’t want to be my fuckin parents Sap. You know that.” Dream said, frowning. 

“But you have that option. You can go, like so far away from Southwood and you wouldn’t be held back at all. If you even hinted at wanting to join your parents, they would pull so many fucking strings for you.” Sapnap cursed. He hated fighting with Dream about this, but his best friend just didn’t see Sapnap’s point. Normally, they didn’t swear in their arguments, but now he was swearing, because Dream swore first. Perhaps it was the underlying frustrations from the same song and dance of his practices, or Dream’s pervasive questions, but Sapnap’s weariness hardened into aggression. The work out had only fueled the adrenaline rush and his hotheadedness and it was quickly tipping into a full argument.

“I know that, but I could give less of a damn about the business. My dad has so many execs that they could easily hold the business up and I would still profit. But I don’t want that, I could never want this. I wanna mess around computers, and the like.” Dream defended, hunching his shoulders.

“That’s cool.” Sapnap deflated. 

“I guess. I’m gonna head out, have a good night Sap.” Dream sighed, and made his way out of the gym. Sapnap groaned, watching as his blond friend walked away. The gym door slammed close, and Sapnap flopped back onto the mat, staring up at the ceiling. Turmoil swirled in his stomach, as he felt tears claw their way to the corners of his eyes, with frustrations eating away at him. With some anguish, he threw his wraps at the wall. With the halfhearted throw, and the lack of bundling up the wraps caused them to fall into a disappointing heap a couple feet away from Sapnap. With a sigh of defeat, the raven haired teen morosely packed up his gear and left the building, locking it with the key his coach had given him. 

Pulling out his phone, he dialed a familiar number, and listened to the ringing through his headphones. 

“What?” Came the gruff reply. Sadness panged in Sapnap’s gut.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you and it wasn’t fair of me to do that.” Sapnap apologized, walking down the street towards his house. He knew his blond friend was probably already climbing the fence into his neighborhood and was perched on the wall at this point. Making his way up the street, Sapnap heard Dream’s heavy sigh on the other end.

“You’re lucky that I stopped to punch a tree Sapnap Morellis. Are you okay with me staying over tonight?” Dream asked, rustling already sounding on his end of the call.

“100 percent. As long as you’re okay with us binging TV instead of gaming tonight. Mom will kill me if we play games after 10pm.” Sapnap said, a tentative grin spreading on his face.

“Cool. Meet you there then. I’ll grab clothes from my place before heading over, if that’s cool.” Dream asked, grunting with a dull thud. He must’ve just jumped off the wall. The familiar rattling of Dream’s trusty skateboard crinkled through the speaker, as well as the wind whipping by.

“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine. I’ll see you in a few, be careful!” Sapnap said. A quick goodbye was heard before the call disconnected. Sapnap grinned, feeling better before putting his post workout playlist on, as he kicked off on his own board and began the meandering journey to his house. 

The ranch style house was still alight with life when Sapnap arrived. Stepping on the raised edge of the deck, Sapnap picked his board up and walked in. His parents were in the living room, watching TV with a beer and glass of wine. He said hello, told them Dream was coming over, ignored the frowns marring their faces and excused himself to shower before Dream’s arrival.

It had been two years since the incident between Sapnap, George and Dream with the panic attack that had left George with a black eye and Sapnap with a busted lip. It was an accident, and the boys had learned since then- don’t restrain someone having a panic attack. Despite the fact it was an accident, and the fact that George and Sapnap had forgiven Dream- their parents held a grudge against him. Something about Dream being a product of his father, and that they didn’t want him being another cog in the loop of manipulation within the family, or something. Sapnap didn’t care, because Dream was his best friend and Sapnap cared for Dream. 

Sapnap shook the thoughts away from his head and showered quickly, scrubbing the past two hours of grime and sweat away from his body and hair. He let the hot water rush over his face before resigning himself away from the warmth of the room, turning off the water and towel drying his body and hair. 

Pulling on some loose joggers, and an old football shirt that used to be Dream’s, Sapnap was settling onto his bed when a knock at his door sounded.

“It’s open.” He said, getting under the covers and turning his TV on, a soft blue light filtering and striking onto the dark orange walls. The door squeaked on the hinges as Dream walked in lightly. A cinch bag was on his shoulder, and an easy smile on his face.

“Hey buddy.” Dream greeted, dropping the bag by his bedside and climbing onto the bed with Sapnap.

“Hey, get comfy. Wanna throw on some comedy special? Or what?” Sapnap asked, scrolling through his Netflix. 

“Comedy’s fine. So, we're gonna talk about what that was at the gym? And no yelling at me, cause you’re my brother and I’m just tryna look out for ya.” Dream said, looking at the ravenet. Sapnap sighed and slumped down into the pillows.

“I️ dunno. You have this whole future planned out and ready to go, and here I️ am- with nothing.” Sapnap sighed.

“You have so much, you just aren’t looking at them. You want to impress your parents, but bro they just want you to be safe and happy. Why do you think they hate me? And don’t try and defend it, it’s obvious that they’re still mad. I️ don’t blame them.” Dream said.

“Ugh, I️ guess. It's not fair to you though.” Sapnap deflated.

“Well, that’s debatable. But it doesn't bother me, and it shouldn't bother you.” Dream said pointedly. “I’ve made my peace with what happened, and if they can’t let it go, then that’s on them. I’m still your best friend and we are gonna do this together. Besides, planning for the future is overrated. It’s okay to not know, we have our whole lives and anyone who pressures you into doing something that doesn’t make you happy? They need to rethink their position.” Dream ranted. 

Sapnap nodded, confidence filling his chest at tackling this. As long as he had his best friends by his side, he could accomplish anything. 

**4\. 10th Grade - Age 16**

Sapnap sighed, slumping in his chair. The library was deathly quiet, with the occasional clacking of keyboards from his fellow classmates. Some pages rustled in the distance, from where the other students were doing homework in their spare periods. 

While most of the class was working on spare homework, Sapnap was still working through his future career module, taking the useless quizzes in finding his area of expertise, or whatever those quizzes said. He was boredly scrolling through the quiz results, reading and sighed. Same old results and no new information to be found. He didn’t really like the results he was getting either. Nothing really sparked his fancy and he dejectedly clicked off the browser and excused himself to the bathroom before the class shifted focus. 

The trip was uneventful, and when he returned the class had moved into more homework. Looking around, he saw his friends Dream and George sitting at a table doing homework. Or well, George was doing homework while Dream played on his phone. Bright green eyes met Sapnap’s and the ravent found himself joining the older two. 

“Hey Sappitus, what’s going on?” Dream asked, looking up as the ravenet approached. Sapnap shrugged, dropping into the spare seat. 

“Just a free period, essentially. Tried those career quizzes, but they just didn't help. It’s the same old answers, but they aren’t that appealing. Like, there is never that Aha! Moment they always mention.” Subpoena groused, dropping his head onto his folded arms.

“Well, they are just a guidance thing anyways. What if you just picked up some odd jobs around town and like got a feel. I’m sure you could find something.” George recommended, not looking up from a heavy physics textbook. Sapnap scrunched his nose up at the subject, and shrugged noncommittally. 

“Yeah I️ could. Whatcha doing after school?” Sapnap asked, changing the subject.

“I’m gonna head to Techno and Wil’s for a project and then head home and chill.” Dream said, still typing on his phone. 

“I have soccer practice, and then I’m going to Callahan’s for some coding project he wanted to do. You can join if you want, see how much you like coding and testing?” George offered, glancing up to catch Sapnap’s eye. 

“I have boxing practice at 6 until 8 if that’s okay? If not maybe another day?” Sapnap asked, not wanting to have a clash in schedule.

“Practice is over at 4, so we can get in some coding for you. Lemme asked Cal real quick.” The British brunet said, whipping out his phone and shooting off a quick message. The device buzzed shortly after and George flashed Sapnap a smile.

“Callahan said that it’s fine. Do you need a ride over or just gonna hitch with Alyssa and Cal?” George asked, already typing away.

“I’ll catch a ride with Alyssa and Callahan, if they don’t mind.” Sapnap said. George gave him an unimpressed stare.

“They don’t care. Alyssa drives Dream and I️ everywhere and she already loves you.” George deadpanned. Sapnap flushed at the thought of Dream and George’s upperclassmen friends liking him, and willing to drive him around. Despite having known Dream since childhood- the thought of his best friend dumping Sapnap for people his own age worried Sapnap. It didn’t matter how many times Dream reassured Sapnap, he still worried. Being one of the youngest in a friend group had a lot of downfalls when it comes to his older friends. It may have only been by a year or a couple months, but didn’t really stop the anxieties bubbling up. Still, Sapnap wasn't sure why he was nervous of asking Alyssa for help or a ride, maybe because she was still kinda new in the group, or he just didn’t want to seem dependent and unable to get his own rides.

Sapnap had met Alyssa when she transferred to Southwood and Dream had quickly adopted her into their friend group. Alyssa fit within the group seamlessly, eagerly teasing the guys and was down for occasionally roughhousing and also willing to just sit in one of the big leather chairs and call them idiots. 

  
  


The bell rang shortly after confirming the plans and the trio separated for their classes. Sapnap to his Biology class, Dream to his History class and George to Chemistry I️. With quick goodbyes, the three boys departed from the library. Sapnap checked his phone to see Alyssa’s text about confirming his ride after school, to which he shot back a thumbs up.

The rest of the day passed without fanfare and Sapnap was getting more and more eager to learn about coding with Callahan and George. Primarily George because Callahan is mute and would most likely be running the actual code, while George explained the intricacies to Sapnap in layman’s terms. Though in the time between George’s practice, it would just be Callahan and Sapnap with the code, and Sapnap wasn’t entirely sure how this was going to go. 

Stepping out into the parking lot, he made his way towards Alyssa’s car. Greeting the blond with a shy smile, Alyssa pat his shoulder in greeting. They exchanged pleasantries while Callahan jogged to the car, waving a hand in greeting. Heading off, the car ride was filled with Callahan’s text-to-speech chatter as he rambled about his day to Alyssa, while Sapnap injected every once in a while.

Coding was fun! It was, Sapnap learned a lot and Callahan and George were amazing teachers to him. George had arrived an hour into the lesson, still sweaty from practice. After pushing his brown hair out of his eyes, he dropped down into the spare chair, still clad in his practice gear, cleats clacking against the hardwood. 

It did help that Callahan’s father was out of town on a business meeting, so Callahan didn’t have to worry about his father. Despite being mute, Callahan was a fountain of knowledge, pulling up document after document of information for the coding project that he and George were tinkering with. George animatedly babbling information about how coding worked, how they tested each line as well as things to look out for. 

When 5:30 rolled around, Sapnap had to go and get his stuff for his practice that night and sadly bid the two boys adieu. They sadly let him go, but said if he wanted to continue, they would love for him to join in again. Sapnap grinned and promised to take them up on the offer before he took off jogging home to catch his ride to his boxing practice.

He changed lightning quick into his practice gear and yanked his bag from where it was resting and jogged to meet his parents and head off to the gym. 

**+1. Graduation - Age 18**

It was time, the time that every senior looks forward to in their high school career. Fucking leaving and graduating. He was seated in the very middle of the sea of classmates, all adorned in the same navy blue gowns, black caps and tassels. As Quackity went on with his speech, talking about the achievements they accomplished and how they have the rest of their lives to make a difference in the world, Sapnap gazed around the auditorium until he saw a familiar cluster of teens, with an older blond male. His friends had come en masse to watch the graduation and then they would be having a party at Dream’s. 

Soon enough, the M’s are called to walk and when his name is called, the sound is deafening. His friends, on the floor and in the stands alike cheer. 

“Sapnap Morellis. Sapnap is the son of Alexis and James Morellis. He will be going on to study Computer Sciences at Southwood Technical Academy to get his Certificate.” The principal said, reading out his cue card, and butchering Sapanp’s last name. Sapnap accepted the diploma cover and flashed a smile at the camera man before accepting it and walking off. Frantic waving caught his attention and he looked to see Dream waving. Sapnap waved back and blew a cheesy kiss to the blond, laughing as the blond snatched it and held it to his chest. Two buzzes in his pocket caused him to laugh and he headed back to his seat, as the chaos went forth. 

After the graduation ceremony ended, Sapnap hung up his gown and was quickly swept into a bone crushing hug from his best friends.

“Ack, Dre, can’t, ca- bre-th. Please.” He choked out, as the tall blond crushed him into a hug, as George collided into the hug, ruffling Sapnap’s hair. 

“Dream, let the poor boy breath! He just graduated.” Phil admonished as the two older boys let go of him. Sapnap regained his breath, and looped an arm around Dream and George’s waists, hugging them without his airways getting cut off. Phil quickly grabbed a picture of them before waving over the other graduates.

“Cmon, let’s get a picture of all of you guys. You only graduate high school once!” Phil cheered. George and Dream moved to allow the others to sneak in for a picture, in different states of undress from the graduation ceremony. Quackity was still fully decorated with his cords, cap and gown all done up, Ant and Velvet were dressed in their gowns and the caps were off, in their off hands. Their other hands were tightly clasped together. Sapnap wrapped an arm around Karl’s waist and Quackity’s shoulder and Phil took their pictures. He took ones of just each of them, Ant and Velvet together, one of Karl, Quackity and himself for posterity, as well as a group picture of everyone. Phil also took some pictures with everyone’s teams as well. 

The party at Dream’s was one that consisted of their little group, with some pizza, drinks and a game night celebrating their achievements. It was one of the few times, where Sapnap was actually looking forward to his future. But then again, he had a whole world ahead of him, and his friends by his side. 

**Author's Note:**

> Question- would you all be interested in some more stuff like “Summertime Sadness” with the background info and lore? Please let me know down in the comments! <3


End file.
